Guilty as sin
Some say that a person is born as a tabula rasa, that is to say individuals are born without built-in mental content and that their knowledge comes from experience and perception.
Some others say that DNA is to blame for one’s character.
I always thought that the truth was somewhere between, but on second thought I don’t like the fact that some things are written on our DNA…
I was telling A. the story of a friend’s friend. She married her boyfriend and on the wedding night (after having drunk a lot of alcohol) they decided to confess all of their darkest secrets. It is something they do in USA as a purification ritual… So they started talking and he confessed having slept with her sister and she confessed having slept with his best friend. They divorced the next day.
Keep some things to yourself!
While we were laughing, A. and I decided to do something similar (we had also drunk a lot of wine).
I confessed going out with a 20year old when I was 30, that I dated a man secretly form my friends just because he was great in bed (but awful in table manners) and that when I was a teenager I dated two brothers (not in the same time). I could have said more, but decided not to…
He laughed and said that he was glad he did not have a brother. Then he told me about his first sexual experiences as a teenager and he also said that in his 20s he almost got married. She left him a few weeks before the wedding.
I only knew about his ex wife.
I assumed that the first girl decided not to marry him because she was young and she changed her mind. He said that it was not the only reason for their break up. He had been unfaithful.
Well I was not that surprised. After all he was very young. It is difficult to make a commitment in such a young age.
Three is a crowd
I told him that I could not cheat on a man I loved because I just could not stand the idea of having another man touching me. I don’t mind doing that in a free relationship, but never when I am in love.
I expected A. to agree with me but he said that heart and body are two different things and you may love someone deeply but still be cheating on him/her. He also said that many researches show that most men ho cheat on their wives actually love them and are happily married.
I asked him if he has cheated again. I said that he cheated on his ex wife few moths before they decided to divorce. He also said that it was not the reason for their divorce and that his ex wife never found out. He decided to sleep with another woman because he wanted to see if he could keep his marriage together, to see what he really feels about his ex.
Only a man could think this way!
Of course we stopped talking.
Can people change?
I still have not relaxed since that talk… He has already said that he has cheated two of the women he has really loved. It is not that difficult to do it again. Can I trust him? How can I be sure that the word “cheated” is not written on his DNA?
Of course some of my old boyfriends have been unfaithful but they did not mean that much to me so I did not mind. A. means a lot to me…
I will try to relax or I will star acting crazy for no reason. So far A. is (or seems to be) perfect. After all he has no reason to cheat on me! He is not that young and our relationship is great!
Plus people do change and he might not be a cheater any more. I might also change and start cheating! Who knows…